10000 B.C.Artist: Belle/Strait/Sharif/Curtis
Roland Emmerich is like Uwe Boll with 100 million dollar budgets. He makes thoroughly asinine summer blockbusters that only elitist cranks could really get worked up about. Independence Day, The Day After Tomorrow, The Patriot'"come on, if you're actually plunking down $10 and expecting a legitimate history or science lesson, you deserve the discomfort. So it was with pure glee that we took in the trailers for 10,000 B.C. What is not to love about CGI mastodons the size of yachts rampaging through villages? It's not all just saber-toothed carnage, though. The plot here mirrors Apocalypto a bit in that our humble mammoth-hunting protagonist D'Leh (Steven Strait) must step up after the majority of his village is kidnapped, most importantly his love Evolet (Camilla Belle). If his dreadlocks don't get in the way (spoiler alert: they don't) D'Leh has a date with the desert, the pyramids, a lost civilization, and major bloodshed.